My Diary
by TerrorRoads
Summary: <html><head></head>It's my diary for you guys to read.</html>


My little Diary:

6th October 2014:

Hello reader, this what you're about to read is my diary, my journal basically it's my story.

Let me introduce myself to you, My name is Kayleigh Farrugia, I was born on the 29th March 1994 and from a little island called Malta . I'm about 6' something in height and weight around 80 kilos (176.37 Pounds, 12 Stones), My eye's are hazel My natural hair is dark brown and wavy , I dye it Black.

My type of music Genre is Rock to all type of Metal. I am not much of a sport person, but if I have to chose I love wrestling and football (Soccer), I support Liverpool when it comes to European football (since I am from Europe).

Since I was very young I never had such a happy life. At the age of 9 my parents split up, my dad went to live abroad and I had to stay with my mum and brother, I gotta say my dad didall the effort to keep in touch with us, he called us everyday to check up on us. I was young I didn't understand why he went to live in England. As I grew up I started to understand, it was his choice and for me he made a good choice. I am not going to get into detail about my mum and dad, that's their problems I have enough of my own to deal with than trying to figure out why my parents got split up. I honestly don't care, they "both" did their best to raise us. I always felt that between me and my brother , between me and my brother he had always been the favourite sibling from my mum's end why do I say this?

When we were young if he told my mum I did something she used to beat the shit out of me, even if it wasn't true. If I asked her for money she never had any for me but she had for my brother. If I was sick, she never believed me if my brother was sick you'll see her taking him to the doctors and give him medicines, while for her I faked everything. If I needed a new pair of shoes she'd buy for my brother and not me and the list goes on and on.

Mostly from my childhood all I remember is her beating me and nothing else. I gotta say when my dad left us my life got wrecked. I felt like I lost my bestfriend, he did all he could send me money, pay my flights to go and visit him but that doesn't remove the pain. I honestly don't know what it means to be a happy child.

As years gone by and I grew up I went through more hell. Depression, stress I was even suicidal at times my mum stopped beating me at the age of 13, at the age of 15 I got sexually abused and again depression striked in.

I do have some happy moments yes in my life but they all get hidden by the torment it gave, you may be thinking this is all just a fictional thing but let me tell you it is not. This what actually I have been through, and there is more to come.

Anyway I have quiet a fucked up past. Skipping all that to last year, at this time I was dating a men ( i thought) we got together decided to start something, I was madly in love with him on February we moved in together and I found out I was pregnant with his child. I remember that day clearly I was so scared and when I told him he was so happy, I gotta say I was so happy back then, Everything was going smooth yes wee argued a lot pregnancy tend to change a women.

On september 13th it was our first year anniversary I remember asking him "How do you feel it's been a year already" and he replied " How do you think I feel, it's been quiet a different year consider to my others and I'm happy about it " he took me out to a chinese buffett, he seemed so happy and so was I.

I only had one month left till I give birth to our baby boy Aaron, I was happy and looking forward until, one day we had a huge arguement and he decided to call things off, this happened three weeks ago, I tried to fix it but he didn't want too, he changed from night to dawn. He even sometims called me another girls name before he left me.

So I had to go back to my mums place 8 months + pregnant, isn't this suppose to be the most happy moments?, how? I'm a single mom now a 20 year old single mom, I cry myself to sleep every night and if I do,I dream about...him and how happy we were and then in my dream I realize it's a dream and wake up not wanting to close my eye's again cause I see his face.

I sometimes think about my lil boy, how is his life going to be without his dad? which I forgot to mentione wants a Dna test cause he thinks I cheated on him, I loved the guy with all my heart and now he thinks I cheated on him.

I sometimes even think about giving up for adoption, I feel so worthless, sick, tired. I just can't seem to get over him and my dreams are torturing me enjoying the pain I feel everynight the heart break all over again, I feel like I cannot move on, I'mnot looking forward in giving birth anymore I just want to rot away in a corner in my sorrows.

I had enough of trying to fight this, I have never ever in my life been so fucking weak, I always convert my pain into hate but I cannot do it now, I don't know why,I just can't.

I've had enough of crying, I've basically had enough of this life. I cannot go on like this, so many thoughts going through my mind, mostly they are all the same. how long can a person be strong for?

I'm writing this in tears, I just don't know how to go on, I cannot seem to trust anotheer person in my life cause the most person I trusted literally shred it to pieces. I cannot seem to love again for sure cause I cannot endure another heart break, and if I do go on... how amI going to get my life on track?

I cannot do the things I used too when I was single before, my life has come to a stop.


End file.
